Sedey pulak tgk my post yg last week. guess 2mths did took its toll. Heh.
Ohh untuk pemilik bear ni, take care n drive safely k. Go n hv fun! Jgn lupa my souvenier. Hehe! If not, no cheesy! Bluek!
N paaaling important dun ever forget me. haha. Keep in touch k?
Gonna miss ya! =)
"2 bulan bole tahan takkn 3hari je tkle?"
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. ye lahh....
apparently my mahallah or hostel is kind of lyk on top of a hill gitu.. tis is the view from top. so everytym going to campus ke ape, had to go down tangga tinggi gitu. then nk alek pon same. kne go up. u can imagine how tinggi the tangga is lahh from the view itself.
But looks lyk even tangga mahallah ni pon didnt do any good to me. yea i gained weight. n now lyk struggling to get back in shape. urgh. lets skip dat part k?
Going back to sch kan so mcm terigt tangga tu. haha.
Ohh ya i'm no longer working at KK hospital. Sch's reopening rite. So ya managed to endure 2mth of work without getting terminated. haha.
Yey no more torture of wearing mask!! hee!
Goodbye Children's Tower!
I'm lyk sooo happy sehh at last abis jgk keje. Very tiring lahh the job 12hrs. But okay lahh kan. Rather than doing nothing during the hols. Alhamdulillah at least got a temporary job.
Werking there really opened my eyes sey. The politics. The bad talks about fellow colleagues. Lyk gosh. The ppl there. Lyk 97% of the teenagers there smoke. Alahh even mak budak pon ada yg heavy smoker. Nowadays so difficult to find lyk a decent boy or girl. Ada gal muka jambu2, skali smoke sehh. Siap main tymer lg. Power. Heh. So yah u learn to appreciate the nice ppl around u.
But not all are bad. There are really nice ppl that i got to know there. There's tis one indian lady, she was a housewife lah. 57yrs old. Very nice lady. Always cheerful n smiling. She doesnt look lyk she's over 45! Seriusly! She lyks to gv me "asam". Hehe. I definitely wun forget her.
Also there's tis one makcik she taught us to make paper flowers! hehe. Yep i did that by myself! So proud sehh! lawa kn? hehe!
i did read back my last two n three years post.
its... different from the way i post now.
then, evryting was so happy. not much worries. i enjoyed life to the max.
but now, i dunno.. mayb just wat i'm feeling now.
n i'm feeling down dats for sure.
its really frustrating. tot evryting was going smoothly. but apparently it wasn't.
tot we were ok. then reality sank in.
shucks. i need my tym alone.
need to find the gd 'ol aja.
now i'm all geared up to go shopping! gaji da msk. ahakz!
wow i'm actually smiling. haha.
so guess wat? woke up at 6 my head was spinning from lack of sleep.
plus simply NO MOOD to go work.
clutching my hp n laying down for 20mins, made up my mind.
text my supervisor n team leader i'm not coming today.
so my pay for today gone. plus mayb 20bucks deducted for not informing 12hrs earlier.
watever lahh.
da tkde mood pon nk keje lg.
cpt lahh end of the mth pls?
its 2:18am n i still cant sleep.
n at 6 i hv to get ready for work. 12hrs work. dunno how i'm gonna survive.
mayb i'm still shocked.
the qstn "am i THAT bad?" is lyk stuck in my head.
i ckp je tp tk buat.
i main ckp je semata2 nk jaga perasaan org.
i emo tk kne tmpt.
i damn org.
i gunakan kata2 org utk jatuhkn dorang alik.
n dats only SOME of it.
guess i AM really bad. wow.
i know they say big girls dun cry, but exception pls?
urgh.
can't sleep la dey!
its 2:36am btw.
thanks ah.
i miss my blog. i really do.
this is where i "luahkn perasaan" n share "apape yg berlaku".
no human being is perfect. we make mistakes along the way. sometimes without even realizing it.
but its the role of those ppl close to us to correct our wrongdoings. am i right?
if i did things that may offend u, n i din realise it, y not tell me? if i'm on the wrong side, definitely i'll apologise n try not to do it again.
but y bottle up everything n only after i bug u lyk wat to tell me, only then u let evrything out. even so u were very reluctant. n being very general. i was lyk, i did that? when sey?. tetap tknk bilang jgk.
how on earth am i suppose to know n realise my wrongdoings?? some things may be ok to me but not to u. n vice versa. i may be observant but i cannot read ppl's minds. n we're still getting to noe each other better.
get a grip aja. relax.
yes i admit i bnyk kekurangan. bnyk sgt. some offensive habits or things that i did or said, i'll try to change for the better. but some things, u just need to accept me for who i am.
i can be VERY defensive. but if u can prove me wrong, definitely i'll relent.
anyway i'm sorry i hurt u a lot. terus terang i tak ada niat langsung to hurt u. only a psycho wud want to hurt their close n love ones. when u asked me to muhasabah diri, i mcm kena 1 tight slap. am i THAT bad? wow.
now my turn. pls be more reasonable. as in prove ur points. or try putting urself in my shus, how'd u feel. am i fair to react that way.
n pls dun b selfish. its not only abt u. u dun wanna explain or prove my wrongdoings coz u dun wanna rmbr those bad memories. but thats the only way i can learn my mistakes. so i wun keep repeating them secara tak sengaja.
i'm sorry.
but lyk i said this is MY blog. tmpt i pour my heart out.