too lazy to post the hari raya pics today. sorry peeps.



i'm walking away from the troubles in my lyf.


am i? how i blardy wish i cud. how i wish i cud just turn back tym. then i wud alter that 1 darn moment. change that 1 stupid step i made.


agreeing to befren u.


but i know i can't. impossible. n deep down, i know i can't just walk away from all the troubles in my lyf. just lyk dat. the guilt'll hang on to me. tightly. lyk a leech on skin. n simply won't let me go. wat guilt u ask?

guilt for causing a rift between 2 buddies. a bad one.

guilt for causing someone to get blamed for the things he didn't do.

guilt for giving hopes n promises to another someone. wat was i thinking?? n he keeps ungkit abt certain things. things that i dun rmbr saying 'em. am i suffering from amnesia then? sheesh! but he'll be lyk "rmbr dat day when u said..." n i'll be lyk "huh? i said that??"


i'm so sorry. its better this way. i think. yeah true i'm walking away from all my troubles. but that doesn't mean i've forgiven u. u know how bad u made me feel?? up until now i still feel guilty. why'd u have to react that way? it's my lyf. i can do watever i want. i can contact whoever i lyk. i'm nobody's sayang or so-called lover. u know dat. so wats up?? its not that easy for me to put evryting behind. dun ask y. all the casual talks. y'd u have to take evryting so seriously? u're a fren. dats it. u know who i hv feelings for. maybe juz a bit. but it's still there. n now i lost him. thanks to u.


maybe one day u'll see my no. appearing on ur hp screen. the day i finally bring myself to forgive u. next yr? few years from now? 10yrs? i dunno.


but wat i do know is that, i'm juz gonna walk away from the troubles in my lyf. guilt n all. no turning back. n be myself again. dats it. n no u dun have to wait for me. go n move on with ur lyf.

Siti Hajar
Twenty on twenty-three nov.
Schoolin'.
Yes i'm a mina tudung n i'm proud of it!
Basically a happy-go-lucky n a simple person.